Starring: Richard Denning, Mara Corday, Carlos Rivas, Mario Navarro, Carlos Muzquiz. Writers: David Duncan, Robert Blees. Producer: Frank Melford and Jack Dietz. Director: Edward Ludwig. Released in 1957.
Original air date: February 13, 1990
If you’re Mexican, and a swarm of giant scorpions begin invading your cities at an alarming rate, go find an American to help. Lord knows you won’t be able to handle it on your own. That’s the message from the movie “The Black Scorpion.” The Mexican government and its people are helpless without the aid of a suave and vaguely ethnocentric white scientist. Such is Hollywood’s view of the world.
“The Black Scorpion” comes in a long line of monster movies to be featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000. All the ingredients are here: the intense, yet sophisticated scientist, the beautiful and strong-willed woman, the helpless and fleeing population, the grotesque and lumbering monster, and the annoying and completely unnecessary child. Japanese monster movies will later perfect these last two attributes to unbelievable proportions. Just wait until “Gamera.”
But first, we have “The Black Scorpion,” which is almost saved by the stop-motion special effects of Willis O’Brien, the man behind “King Kong.” O’Brien revolutionized special effects and acted as a mentor to Ray Harryhausen, who made the technique famous. When the titular monsters show up on screen, the film actually gets interesting, even on its limited budget. Other than that, it’s a giant bore.
After the success of the last episode, “Untamed Youth,” you’d think the writers would be on top of their game. Not quite. Similar with other first season episodes, the riffs are infrequent and sometimes not that funny. For instance, a series of jokes on golf courses and the 10 Commandments wears thin after a while. Although there are some really sharp and laugh-out-loud moments. A dull film and below-average riffing makes this episode forgettable.
The film opens with a series of volcanic explosions in Mexico, heralding the arrival of the monsters. Joel and the robots come prepared by roasting giant weenies over footage of lava and fire. Drs. Henry Scott (Richard Denning) and Arturo Ramos (Carlos Rivas), already in the area researching volcanoes, discovers part of a town destroyed by something. They find several dead cops and one very alive baby in the wreckage (“Alright kid, start talkin!’” Crow growls). Visiting a nearby village, they learn of rumors of giant monsters wreaking havoc across the countryside. Most of this is told to them by helpful Mexicans with an excellent command of the English language. No language barrier in rural Mexico, I guess!
They also come into contact with Teresa Alvarez (Mara Corday), a Mexican rancher. Both scientists take a liking to her, but it’s the American who comes out with the win, of course. Not that Dr. Ramos doesn’t try. Crow mocks his awkwardness: “Let me put my new Leonard Nimoy album on. He sings the ‘Ballad of Bilbo Baggins!’”
Soon, the Black Scorpion reveals itself. It attacks three linemen working on Alvarez’s ranch in an unsettling scene; O’Brien’s creature creations are more believable that most monsters in MST3K films. Except when it’s seen up close. Then we get a view of a cartoonish, drooling villain with very expressive eyes. There are lots of shots of this actually. It’s pretty funny.
The scientists and Mexican military investigate the monsters further, discovering a giant cavern near a volcano. The government listens to whatever Dr. Scott tells them. Dr. Ramos is just kind of there. But the two do travel deep into the cavern to catalog Willis O’Brien’s stop-motion monsters. Of course, a stupid, annoying kid named Jaunito (Mario Navarro) stows away on their cavern journey, which doesn’t really bother anybody. When the monsters find them, they destroy our heroes’ only way of escape. “Well, this isn't good, not at all. I mean, I've seen good before, and it didn't look anything like this. Remember that bad thing we saw, well it looked like this,” Joel says in his deadpan style. It’s one of the best riffs of the episode.
Surprise! They escape and the military blows up the cavern sealing the fate of the black scorpions. Or do they? Let’s just say there’s a great finale involving Mexico City, a big monster and a really inept military guy. “These soccer games can get really out of hand,” Joel says.
Despite some decent moments, nothing really sticks out about this episode. The jokes are alright, but you know the writers will improve in due time. And the movie is kind of dull until the last half or so; it takes a while for anything substantial to happen. It is famous for being the “last” first season episode, although it wasn’t the last filmed or even aired. That’s coming up in the next review.
One part of this episode does bear mention. Anytime Drs. Scott and Ramos introduce themselves, which happens A LOT in the beginning of the movie, Joel and the bots clap in applause much like a walk-on role in a sitcom. Funny thing is, we never see them moving their hands, and it sounds like the same pre-recorded applause each time. It’s strange at first to hear this, and then it becomes amusing. Needless to say, they don’t add in sounds again in the show. They previously added sound effects in “The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy,” another Mexican film in fact.
The sketches provide some funny moments to the show. The Mads’ invention exchange goes terribly wrong, so Dr. Erhardt gets himself a giant brain a la Star Trek’s “The Menagerie,” and Dr. Forrester turns into a skeleton. Actually, we never see Trace Beaulieu’s face in this one. Later in the show, Crow and Tom Servo discuss Joel’s human oddities, while Gypsy tries to scare them by turning into a giant scorpion. They ignore her until she eats Tom! Later, Joel discusses the history of stop-motion animation to great effect.
But perhaps my favorite part of the whole episode is when Joel reads a letter specifically written to Crow. Sometimes critical, sometimes helpful, the writer makes some pointed comments that, I think, are meant to be taken seriously for the benefit of the show’s writers. Cambot focuses on Crow this whole time and it’s amazing how Beaulieu can get a great reaction out of a cheap puppet – you can see what Crow is thinking the whole time! He goes from curious to pissed in no time.
We’re almost at the end of the first season and fun to see how the show has improved, and to know that it gets far better in future seasons. “The Black Scorpion” isn’t one of the better episodes, but it’s still interesting.
Rating: **1/2
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