Starring: James Olson, Catherine Von Schell, Adrienne Cori, Warren Mitchell, Ori Levy, Barry Bresslaw. Writer: Michael Carreras. Producer: Michael Carreras. Director: Roy Ward Baker. Released in 1969.
Original air date: January 30, 1990
A Western film taking place on the Moon with saloons, loose women, and dastardly villains? Groovy! The swingin’ ‘60s hits our nearest celestial body with so much hip and mod force, it’ll make your head spin. Do you reach? Sure do, Herbert.
“Moon Zero Two” is a space adventure riding the coattails of “2001: A Space Odyssey.” With a decent special effects budget and huge, Ken Adam-esque sets, the film brings to mind the overindulgence of Bond films, not to mention the 1960s in general. Bombastic music is featured throughout, as are some actors that nearly wink at the camera to let us know it’s all in fun. Thankfully, this adventure story never quite takes itself seriously, which allows for Joel and the robots on the Satellite of Love a few decent opportunities to go to town.
This is probably the best movie featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 so far. It’s certainly the most expensive to date, and it’s a nice change-of-pace to watch a film that has a large budget and large sets. Too long have we suffered through black and white films, rubber suits, Commando Cody, and sock puppets with teeth. While there are some funny jokes, the film is talky, which limits Joel and the gang from any commentary rhythm. Fortunately, the film is entertaining on its own, so the episode never becomes boring. Still, you wish it had been a little more than it was.
“Moon Zero Two” starts with an inexplicable opening that sets a tone for the film the rest of the movie never event attempts to emulate. Complete with a verbose, and unfortunately catchy song sung by British pop singer Julie Driscoll, we’re treated an animated credit sequence (“Title sequence my Mrs. Reedy’s third-grade class,” Servo says). An American and Soviet astronaut runs around the moon trying to plant their flag in “hilarious” fashion. I think it’s supposed to represent how the Moon got settled in the universe of “Moon Zero Two,” but the music and silliness take all that away. It also makes the film appear to be a mad-cap comedy caper. While it’s not a totally serious film, it’s not what the credits promise.
In the future, the Moon is a remote outpost of Earth being settled by people looking to make a new beginning starting mining claims on its surface. The only center of civilization is an outpost, strangely designed (“D-cups as far as the eye can see,” Crow says), complete with a space port, shopping mall, and saloon featuring over-priced drinks and dancing women. It’s much like any Western film, including a reluctant hero. That person is Bill Kemp (James Olson), an astronaut-turned-space salvager, making a living collecting space junk. He’s approached by Earth millionaire J.J. “Hundred Percent” Hubbard (Warren Mitchell) (“I think he’s only 50 percent today,” Crow says) to collect an asteroid heading for the Moon that is comprised completely of valuable sapphire.
Meanwhile, a British woman, Clementine Taplin (Catherine Von Schell) arrives looking for her brother who started a claim on the “Far Side” of the Moon. “I wonder if you know my brother?” Clem asks Kemp. “Gary Larson?” Servo asks.
Kemp decides to help the beautiful woman, whom he dubs Clem, and together they discover her brother dead at his site, as skeleton in his suit (“He lost a lot of weight,” Servo says. “He looked better fat.”). Through a plot twist that is not a plot twist, Hubbard had Clem’s brother killed so he could take over his claim and land the sapphire asteroid on it. This is all builds to the big finale that’s not that big.
It’s tough to dislike a film like this, even if you watch without the wittiness of Joel and the bots. The movie is a product of Hammer Films, the studio that brought us countless Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing Dracula movies, complete with lots of blood and naked women. We don’t get that in this film – at least, not in the scenes shown in the episode – but we do get plenty of British people and bright sets. In fact, only Kemp has an American accent.
The special effects are also well done for the late 1960s. Many of the effects producers worked on “2001” and would work again on other big budget films. The music on the other hand, is sometimes baffling. There’s loud jazz as ships land and people fight, not to mention a herald of trumpets anytime someone floats around in the space. “Who thought free-form jazz was a good idea for the soundtrack?” Servo asks.
The actors are par for the course. Olson seems to be enjoying his time in a starring role, a rare thing. Most of his career saw him in guest starring roles in everything from “Battlestar Gallactica” to “Murder She Wrote.” He’s not the ideal version of a leading man (Joel and the bots love the fact his forehead knows no bounds), but he’s likeable enough. Catherine Von Schell (cousin to Maximillian) gets her first leading role after her small part in the Bond film “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” and fills out her spacesuit nicely. The producers love putting her in the strangest outfits and dumbest wigs and helmets, but it’s the 1960s after all.
Astute viewers will note that Warren Mitchell, who plays Hubbard, turned up in “The Crawling Eye” as Professor Crevett, the man who detects the evil eye aliens. Then there’s Harry, played by Barry Bresslaw, as the dumb henchman of Hubbard. The gang, Crow especially, has great fun making fun of this guy, especially his backcountry Cockney accent.
But the riffs aren’t up to par as they have been in the previous couple episodes. Part of it is the first season-syndrome where the show was still learning its complexities. Part of it is the film, which is very busy and dialogue-heavy. Sometimes the jokes get lost amongst the film’s action. This occasionally happened in later episodes, but not quite to this extent. I didn’t find myself laughing as much and ended up paying more attention to the film. Still, Joel and the bots have their moments. I particularly liked the part where Kemp straddles an engine booster while floating in space and Servo asks, “Is that what they call a crotch rocket?” Juvenile, yes, but funny!
The skits are, again, OK as a whole. Joel creates teleporting food for his invention exchange (pretty clever), and the Mads come up with celebrity (Jack Nicholson, Linda Blair) toothpaste. The actor’s images puke out the tooth paste on your tooth brush.
In making fun of the film’s idea of a board game called “Moonopoly,” Joel and the bots come up with other ideas for future board games and how their played (pretty funny). They mock a goofy fight scene in the movie where everything takes place in Zero G (hilarious), as well. The Moon pageant sketch is not funny and drags too long.
“Moon Zero Two” is a fun and busy movie and proves challenging to the MST3K writers. While the jokes aren’t quite there, it’s still a fun episode thanks to the quality of the film – not good, but certainly not bad. I can actually see this episode improving in my opinion with future viewings.
Rating: **1/2
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