Starring: Mamie Van Doren, Lori Nelson, John Russell, Don Burnett, Eddie Cochran, Lurene Tuttle. Writers: Stephen Longstreet, John C. Higgins. Producer: Aubrey Schenk. Director: Howard W. Koch. Released in 1957.
Original air date: February 6, 1990
Darn those kids. Darn those pesky kids always hitchhiking and skinny-dipping throughout our county! Nothing but trouble!
What I thought would be a typical 1950s scare film of youth gone wild thanks to the drink and pills is nothing of the sort. Oh sure, two young women get arrested for a small crime, but it’s a sadistic and evil ranch owner that takes center stage in this film. Are these youths untamed? Not really. Just in the wrong place at the wrong time under the constant threat of a big bully. At least they keep their musical sense and break into song on occasion. Seriously.
“Untamed Youth” is Mystery Science Theater 3000’s first movie that isn’t classified as science fiction or horror. It’s a tale of two young sisters caught up in a local scam to get low-level offenders to work for free on a major ranch. If it doesn’t sound exciting, it’s because it’s not. Even the ill-placed musical numbers can’t help the movie. But it remains easily watchable thanks to the presence of ‘50s pinup girl, Mamie Van Doren. The buxom, blond beauty spends much of the film in tight shirts, singing and dancing on the screen. No complaints here.
Maybe it’s the change in genres or the melodramatic syrup that’s poured all over this movie, but the riffing in this episode is the best of the season. Finally, here’s an episode that can stand side by side with the high points of the later seasons. The jokes come fast and funny and I found myself laughing out loud from beginning to end. Of course, this movie just begs for the MST3K treatment, and the writers do not disappoint.
The film begins on the right note: a country lawman finds two sisters, Penny and Janey Lowe (Doren and Lori Nelson) skinny-dipping in a small pond. When they admit to hitchhiking across the country, the cop gets all pissed off and hauls them before the judge. Judge Steele (Lurene Tuttle) seems equally angry about the hitchhiking and sentences them to 30 days hard labor working in the cotton fields on a ranch. Arriving with a cast of “untamed youths,” the Lowe’s start picking cotton, stopping occasionally to catfight with other inmates, bathe in cold water, and break out into song. The evil ranch owner, Russell Tropp (John Russell), oversees all with his guard dogs and ruthless nature (“I don’t know what he expects from them, they’re untamed!” Crow yells).
Things get complicated, both for the characters and the audience, when the judge’s son, Bob Steele (Don Burnett), arrives to work for Tropp. He starts snooping around, discovering the terrible conditions the inmates are living in, which includes eating dog food for dinner. To make matters even more confusing, Tropp is secretly married to the judge, and the two are in on a scheme to create a monopoly of ranches throughout the county. Somewhere in this familiar quagmire are the untamed youths. Somewhere.
There are so many odd and strange things going on in this film, I’m not sure where to start. I guess we can begin with the musical numbers. They’re suitably loud and irritating thanks to the film’s composer, Les Baxter, famous for his Balladeers. Mamie gives it her all, especially in the leg-kick department, but man! These are bad songs! (“Come on boys, carry my bananas?” I agree with Joel – what does that even mean?) One inmate breaks into song out in the fields, singing “You Ain’t Gonna Make a Cotton Picker Outta Me,” or as Tom Servo says, “You Ain’t Gonna Make a Singer Outta Me!” Joel comments on the studio sound found out amongst the cotton: “The acoustics in this field are amazing!”
Next, there’s the ranch cook. Stopping his duties as dog food chef, he comes out to compliment Mamie on her singing voice, among other things. But he speaks in the wordiest sentences, full of giant dictionary words. It’s funny, but for the wrong reasons.
I have to mention the judge and secret wife of Tropp, too. She looks much older than her husband and more like a grandmother to her son. Poor casting, indeed! Grandmother riffs abound.
Then there’s the deep voiced woman who Joel and the ‘bots dub “Greg Brady,” and proceed to get a lot of mileage out of the joke. And I can’t forget to mention the appearance of Eddie Cochran. Yes, THAT Eddie “Summertime Blues” Cochran. He plays an inmate named Bong. One more time – Bong. Yes, Cochran wrote a couple songs, too. It’s not all Les Baxter’s fault.
You have to admire Mamie in this film. She completely steals the show and it’s easy to see why she earned such a following, even after her career took a nosedive. And the film has John Russell, who is now most famous for playing the villain Stockburn in Clint Eastwood’s “Pale Ride.” His gaunt and sunken face in that film is haunting and unforgettable. He also turned up in Eastwood’s “The Outlaw Josey Wales” as “Bloody Bill” Anderson.
What keeps the episode funny is the way Joel and the bots riff off what people are saying instead of making silly observations like they did earlier in the season. For instance: “I was hoping you and Russ would hit it off,” the judge tells her son. “Well, he did punch me once,” Servo replies. “It’s going to be really hard to break it to him,” the judge tells Tropp referring to their secret marriage. “What, that he’s an android?” Joel asks. “I’d like to see you again, lots of times,” Bob tells Janey at the ranch. “And then stop abruptly, breaking your heart like a toy,” Joel continues. And the list goes on and on.
Like most episodes, some sketches work, some don’t. Joel creates the “Never Light Pipe” for the invention exchange, which is a total sight gag, and Dr. Erhardt comes up with the tongue puppet. Later, Joel gets inside Gypsy’s head to see what she’s thinking, which turns out be nothing but RAM chips and an eight-by-ten glossy photo of Richard Basehart. Gypsy later comes into the theater to puke up cotton, before Tom discovers she’ll vomit anything he suggests, even another Servo. The tribute to Greg Brady, on the other hand, is overlong and not funny.
Some like these delinquent teen/youth movies, some do not. I think there’s a dated charm to them that makes these films hilarious on their own. MST3K will feature many more films in this vein, some of which really do have delinquent teens doing wild and terrible things. “Untamed Youth” still remains my favorite of the first season.
Rating: ***1/2
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