Starring: Steve Alaimo, Willie Pastrano, John Vella, Bobbie Byers, Jeff Gillen. Writer: William Grefe. Producer: Joseph Fink. Director: William Grefe. Released in 1967.
Original air date: November 17, 1990
Lay into me if you must, but I like this movie. Something about “Wild Rebels” makes it completely watchable on its own, without the help of Joel and the robots. I think it might be the late ‘60s vibe flowing through it, or maybe the laid back feeling of small town Florida. Or maybe it’s the wildly over-the-top performances of the bike gang juxtaposed with the sleepy performance of Steve Alaimo playing the “hero.” Perhaps it’s film’s lame attempt at being a morality tale. The misguided biker gang sure looks like they’re having fun drinking, smoking and doing whatever else they feel like. And the film relishes all of this by glamorizing the fun side of the seedy life. As long as the characters receive their dues in the end, it’s OK to show us all this, right?
Whatever the case, it’s silly enough on its own. Terrible, but in a good way. When Banjo (former boxer Willie Pastrano) growls, “He bugs me. That square really bugs me!”, it might be one of my favorite scenes in any Mystery Science Theater 3000 feature. I have to pause the episode until I stop laughing.
This movie is famous among the show’s fans because of the constant reminder that movie’s misguided youths are only in it for The Kicks. I guess armed robbery and murder are just a lot of fun. “It’s the kicks, baby,” Linda (Bobbie Byers) reminds the viewers in a repetitive manner. And in the end, when their world comes crashing down, Linda still manages to let us know it was all for the kicks. “It’s a cereal, man,” Joel insists instead.
This is the second biker film MST3K tackles this season, and it’s a much more enjoyable episode. In “The Sidehackers,” the movie was too brutal and distasteful for the writers to do a good mocking job. You could tell they really hated the movie and didn’t know what to do with it. Something about rape, murder and spousal abuse just sucks the funny right out of the show. Luckily “Wild Rebels” is easier to take. Sure, it’s bloody and violent and about 20 incompetent cops get gunned down by the end of it, but it’s not filmed in the same mean spirit of “The Sidehackers.”
In Wild Rebels, semi-famous stock car driver Rod Tillman (Alaimo) crashes and burns one too many times and decides to quit the business. It’s then he has a run in with hilariously named Satan’s Angels, who run around dressed like they raided a Nazi party rally – iron crosses and swastikas are their décor of choice. The gang consists of the leader, Jeeter (John Vella), hot-headed Banjo (Pastrano), fat guy Fats (Jeff Gillen) and the gang’s pass-around chick Linda (Byers). They tear around on their hogs, drinking everything in sight and beating up college kids. “I love a job like this. I don’t think of it as going to work today, I love it that much,” Joel quips.
They want Tillman to be their driver as they rob banks around Florida. Tillman declines the offer, but is intercepted by the police, who convince him to work undercover and infiltrate the gang. Apparently, Satan’s Angels are too smart for the police, as they freely admit, which is funny to contemplate because this biker gang is clearly a stupid group of people.
As Tillman gets further in with the gang, he becomes a part of their next big robbery that ends up going horribly. The end features a shootout at a lighthouse with a lot of guns, dead bodies and really funny riffing on the part of Joel and the bots. I have to point out that, near the end, Banjo steals a police motorcycle during the shootout. The bike is literally inches away from the cops and they don’t shoot at him until he’s a ways down the beach. “They’re just too smart for us!” Crow shouts.
The police also set up a roadblock and forget to block the main road to the beach and lighthouse. See what I mean by the gang being far too smart for law enforcement?
Throughout the film, as it chugs along in its nice and easy pace, so does the riffing. Joel and the bots poke fun at the many inconsistencies and continuity issues that plague the movie, as well as the terrible performances. Pastrano always looks like his head will explode from his skull while he plays a “high strung” Banjo. “Hey Banjo, de-tune your G-string, baby!” Crow says.
One of the best scenes comes when Tillman goes outside the gang’s shack for a smoke and to bury a message for the cops (“Oh, he’s sending it by carrier vole,” Crow says). Tillman decides to hang out and play his guitar when Linda stops by and we slowly realize that Alaimo was using this movie to further a singing career. Is he trying to be the next Elvis or Sinatra? Joel and the bots can’t figure it out, but the song is terrible! And to top it off, it’s orchestrated. Where are these other instruments coming from? “Thank you, brother squirrel, for the saxophone,” Crow says, adding later “This must be the b-side to the 45.”
Speaking of Steve Alaimo, his singing career never quite got off the ground. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t making a living off of it. A good friend of the Allman Brothers, Alaimo co-wrote their song “Melissa,” one of their best known tunes. Thank God the band didn’t cover this dirge of a track he sings in the movie!
The sketches are also very funny, with a few focusing on Gypsy. In the beginning, she’s feeling sick and overtaxed, with Joel shutting down a few key systems on the Satellite of Love so she’ll feel better. We learn she controls the ships higher functions and, as a result, has a slower brain capacity when she’s doing this. Of course, when the systems are down, she ends up sounding like quite the intelligent robot. When things are back to normal, she continues her obsession with Richard Basehart. Speaking of which, when Crow makes a “Voyage at the Bottom of the Sea” joke while watching the movie, Gypsy pops into the theater thinking she’ll find Basehart. It’s a surprising and very funny scene.
Later, Joel croons to Gypsy, much like Tillman does to Linda in the film. Crow and Tom Servo, acting like Banjo and Jeeter, beat him up, with Gypsy looking at the camera and saying, “I’m in it for the kicks!” It’s a perfect way to mock the film.
In the invention exchange, Dr. F and Frank create the “hobby hogs,” which are appropriate for “Wild Rebels.” Joel takes his inspiration from “Star Trek’s” 3-D chess game to create the 3-D pizza. Later, the gang sings a “Wild Rebels” – themed cereal jingle and throw a party on the SOL to counteract the effects of the film.
The watchable movie and hilarious riffing make for a great episode and one that remains eminently watchable. It appears that Season 2 is picking up steam and rolling along quite nicely.
Rating: ***1/2
Side note: This episode is available on Rhino’s box set, Volume 9. Unfortunately, that box set became unavailable shortly after it was released, so it’s not cheap to acquire at this time.
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